This release stands in solidarity with all who have experienced or are currently suffering from “psychological drowning”. Whether through the constant denial of our true selves, enforced by the constraints and demands of capitalism, or the realisation of certain aspects of ourselves which fall outside of socially-enforced, normative paradigms, the experience of choking on the often arbitrary pressures and expectations of the world around us is very real.
Hopefully, this album succeeds in first affirming and validating the reality of this experience in others while also offering some form of hope that “this, too, shall pass”. Inspired by Hemmingway’s advice to “write drunk, edit sober", the process that led to these pieces involved composing and recording while in an acutely dark place before waiting a number of months to arrange, edit, and produce while in a more positive and hopeful state of mind. Interesting to note is that when revisited in that clearer headspace, it was quickly revealed that many elements of hope were already present in the original recordings: Major key harmonies rising to crescendos towards the end of various pieces; a general shift in tone from the first to final track; the light footsteps of a loving partner echoing through the floorboards upstairs and captured by the microphone; the tinkle of a bell at certain moments, caused by an affectionate cat looking for cuddles while her person was numbly hyper-fixated on a computer screen. These positive elements were all there from the beginning, although they were invisible to the drowning person who recorded them.
It’s often observed that severe depression can not only alter our perception of the present but also change how we relate to our memories of the past and cloud our vision of the future, but this was the most clear evidence of that fact that I have ever experienced: Amidst the over- whelming feeling of hopelessness and despair that accompanied those original sessions, there was clear evidence of the love and support that existed around me, captured in the recordings themselves. I just couldn’t see (or hear) it at the time.
Sometimes, music which stems from dark places can provide comfort to individuals who are themselves in those depths. If this is you, hopefully this album can go some way in helping you to at least tread water, if not swim. Whether you are yourself sinking or know someone else who is, never hesitate to reach out to those around you. Oftentimes, that single hand reaching below the surface is enough lift us up, if only for a few breaths.
- Nate Cøllins (Nae C)
Please support the artist directly for all digital-only purchases:
natecollins.bandcamp.com
released January 5, 2024
Recorded and conceived on Gubbi Gubbi land, with all due respect to Elders past, present and future.
Created by breath and voice, with the occasional bell and pawstep contributed by a tiny cat. Captured entirely on a built-in laptop microphone and processed through excessive amounts of reverb with the "dry signal" dropped to 0%. Heavy influence was drawn from the vocal harmonies of David Bowie, Thom Yorke, Mike Patton, Brian Wilson, and Jerry Cantrell.
All noise composed, performed, and produced through Nate Cølllins
Additional material provided by Tiny Cat and Billie Tibbetts
Recorded at Hofmann road, 2023 e.v.
Unmastered
Static Visuals by Nate Cølllins
Thanks: Billie, Tiny, Toulouse, Mabel, Bariann
Bandcamp:
natecollins.bandcamp.com